The Cotton-Tail, Yearbook of The North Texas State Normal School, 1906 Page: 90
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IF YOU DON'T WATCH OUT.
So many, many rules are flyin ' through the air
It makes a fellow stop, and pull out all his hair
A trying to remember, if this will e'er proturb
Or call down wrath from those whom we would rather not disturb.
It drives us to despair, and keeps us on a sharp out-look,
'Cause the Prof, oh, how he 'II get us,
If we don't watch out.
Once there was a boy that forgot the regulations-some
And he was standin' at the 'phone not a-being--dumb.
He told his girl all 'bout his love in accents not too low,
And stood there by the clock an hour or more, I know,
And 'fore he'd time ter see him or ter get away and hide
There was the Prof a-standin' right at his side.
The Faculty he met, and o'er the 'phone he does not shout,
'Cause the Prof, oh, how he'll get you,
If you don't watch out.
Once there was a girl went a trampin' through the hall,
And back again, again she'd go; she was not five feet tall
Yet each small foot the floor with even thuds did strike,
And roused the Prof who did look forth to see the sight,
And grimly asked the maiden Chinese styles to flout,
And the Prof, oh, how he 'II get you,
If you don't watch out.
And when the blizzards come a-blowin' from the north and east,
And when you're in the corridors a freezin' like a beast
Though the radiator's cold and you could sit thereon
Remember, friend, "Do not the radiators sit upon."
And if you go a-callin' on some Sunday night,
And hear a bell a-tinklin', then a-ringin with a might
Be sure you heed the warnin' or a second call you 'II be about,
'Cause the Prof, oh, how he 'I get you,
If you don't watch out.
--Lourena Graham.
SOLILOQUY: BY THE VERB BE.If I'm to be what shall I be?
This problem really puzzles me:
Am I an "is" or am I "are,"
And if I am, what am I for?
With "he" I'm "is," with "they" I'm
"were,"
And yet I'm never found with "her,"
Though why it is I cannot see,
For, singular, I go with "she."
Alas, to what perplexity
My complex role enforces me,
When my auxiliaries begin
To tell me what I might have been!For with their "coulds" and "woulds"
and "mays"
My wits go wand'ring in a daze
Until I hardly know if sad,
Or gay, or bad's the mood I've had.
Distressing as it is, I ween,
To be oft dubbed a mere "has been,"
Or know 'tis better not to live
Than be a split infinitive;
My life's tense tragedy is this:
That whether I am "are" or "is"
Or with what subjects I agree,
All objects are forbidden me.
-Esther L.' Whittaker.
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North Texas State Normal College. The Cotton-Tail, Yearbook of The North Texas State Normal School, 1906, yearbook, 1906; Denton, Texas. (https://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth60974/m1/91/: accessed April 26, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, UNT Digital Library, https://digital.library.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.