Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 22, No. 49, Ed. 1 Friday, April 21, 2006 Page: 48 of 92
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AHL Medical Group
The medical office of:
Dr. Brady Allen
Internal IVIedicine/HIV Medicine
Dr. Robert Henderson
General Practice/HIV Medicine
Dr. David Lee
Internal Medicine/HIV Medicine
We treat patients with a variety of medical
conditions including HIV/AIDS and STD
testing and treatment. New patients are
always welcome. Most major insurances
are accepted, and we have reasonable
rates for self-pay patients. Same and next
day appointments are usually available.
is
AHL Medical Group
The Oaks @ Turtle Creek
2929 Carlisle Street, Suite 260
Dallas, TX 75204
214.303.1033
We look forward to continuing
to provide top-notch medical
care to the GLBT Community.
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Fargo Bank, N.A.© 2006 Wells Fargo Bank, N.A. All Rights Reserved. #34829 3/14/06 lender
■style books
Tough tackle
Ex-NFL nose guard Esera Tuaolo
scores victory in new autobio
By J.S.Hall Contributing Writer
"Alone in the Irenches: My Life as a Gay Man in the
NFL," by Esera Tuaolo with John Rosengren.
(Sourcebooks, Inc, 2006) 288 pp., $24.95.
Coming out on the
heels of Roy Simmons'
autobiography "Out of
Bounds," Esera Tuaolo's
"Alone in the Trenches"
chronicles what it was
like to spend nine years
on five different NFL
teams as a closeted gay
man.
Only the fourth for-
mer NFL player to come
out publicly (and one of the sports' few
Polynesian players), Tuaolo came from impover-
ished circumstances., He played football partly
because of his natural talent at the sport, partly
because of the boost it gave his meager self-
esteem, but mainly for the money and opportuni-
ties it offered.
"Football gave me a college scholarship, the
chance to buy a house for my mother, the oppor-
tunity to travel, and much more;" he writes.
While both "Out of Bounds" and "Alone in
the Trenches" concern gay men who passed as
straight while playing in the NFL, the two books
could hardly be more different in tone and con-
tent. Whereas Simmons' memoir ruefully chron-
icles the excesses of a man who descended into
addiction and criminal behavior, Tuaolo's autobi-
ography isn't nearly so sensationalistic. Like its
author, the book is modest, sincere and heartfelt,
but nevertheless contains its share of surprising
revelations.
Growing up in a grass hut with a dirt floor on
a Hawaiian banana plantation, Tuaolo saw one of
his aunts killed in front of him, felled by a neigh-
bor's bullet intended for his father. When Esera
was 10, his father died unexpectedly, and the
family struggled. His mother sent him to live
with an older brother who beat him, and whose
girlfriend sexually molested him.
Even as a young child, Tuaolo knew he liked
other boys, and also quickly learned what most
people thought of that sort of person. As he
explains, "In Polynesian culture, it's okay to be a
faafafine, an effeminate and affected gay man
ALONE NO MORE: Tuaolo's memoir focuses on a closeted
man haunted by paranoia and memories of molestation
but who ultimately emerged happy.
.... To be masculine and gay was not okay ....
being gay meant someone was weak."
Although Esera had an older, gay brother
named Tua, the two weren't especially close.
Indeed, their mutual sexual orientation was more
of a wedge than a common bond. Tua died of
AIDS in 1992 at age 29, and his younger brother
still deeply regrets that they didn't communicate
more.
However, the most poignant aspects of
"Alone in the Trenches" are Tuaolo's loneliness
and overwhelming fear of discovery while play-
ing in the NFL.
"My success tonnented me," he writes. "The
better I did, the more exposure I received. The
more exposure, the greater the chance of some-
one discovering my secret .... The stress nearly
killed me."
Although he rarely encountered direct homo-
phobia, the atmosphere of machismo, testos-
terone and presumed heterosexuality was debili-
tating.
"Every day, I walked into the fear," he writes.
"The fear that if I slipped up, said the wrong
thing, looked at another naked player too long,
got an erection in the shower, I'd get outed —
and then they would hurt me."
Tuaolo reluctantly dated women to maintain
the illusion of heterosexuality, but often drowned
his sorrows with shots of tequila. More than
East Dallas Christian Church
LOVING AND EMBRACING THE COMMUNITY • EVERYONE IS WELCOME
IraditionaCstyCe service in a
(BeautifuC ancC historic Church
that is an 'ArchitecturalJeweC
2 1 4-824-8 1 85
629 N. Peak Street
(Peak & Junius by Baylor Dallas)
Dallas, TX 75246
www.EDCC.org
Sunday Services
• Early Worship, Chapel - 8:30 a.m.
• Main Worship, Sanctuary -10:50 a.m.
• Children's Church -10:50 a.m.
Chancel Choir Rehearsal
• Sunday 12:30 p.m. -1:30 p.m.
Childrens Choir Rehearsal
• Sunday 9:30 a.m. - 10:00 a.m.
Praise Team Rehearsal
■ Sunday 1:30 p.m. - 2:00 p.m.
48 I dallasvoice.com I 04.21.06
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Vercher, Dennis. Dallas Voice (Dallas, Tex.), Vol. 22, No. 49, Ed. 1 Friday, April 21, 2006, newspaper, April 21, 2006; Dallas, Texas. (https://digital.library.unt.edu/ark:/67531/metapth238905/m1/48/: accessed April 25, 2024), University of North Texas Libraries, UNT Digital Library, https://digital.library.unt.edu; crediting UNT Libraries Special Collections.