The Personal Correspondence of Sam Houston, Volume 1: 1839-1845 Page: 146

                                
time will be employed in the duties of my office. It will then be open
until six at night for calls. From six until midnight, I will again have
time to labour in "my vocation."
You will perceive my love, from this hint that I have but "little to
do"! This will only be the case until the adjournment of Congress.
For my dear wife, I will most assuredly resign before I will again
remain seperated [sic] from you for one month hereafter. Had I the
control of the Government, I cou'd save the country, but now I do
really distrust the effort. I will not say that I despair of its future
existence, but my mind is by no means free from apprehension, for
its safety and success. My measures are not to be carried out in my
opinion, and if they are not we may look out for ruin!!! If not individual
ruin, we may look out for a suspension of the functions of
Government-and then anarchy. It does appear to me that no mortal
power can avert the ruin impending over Texas. Every convulsive
throw only leaves her more prostrate in her condition. Her resources
are wasted and the body politick is weakened so much that
even my sanguine hope is beginning to languish! The ways of God
are past finding out, but indeed my love, no mortal forecast with
my present means can avert the impending evils!
My dearest, it is useless for us to repine. We can be happy in
retirement. We have seen our happiest days in life glide by at Cedar
Point. We were happy there and happy we can be again! I will not,
my dear decide upon my course until I can have your sage advice.
You well know that I have borne with my country and that my
struggles in its darkest gloom and despondency have saved it! I
wou'd yet freely peril my life to save and establish its Liberty on a
firm foundation. My destiny or some wayward fatality will not allow
me the delightful anticipations which I have so fondly cherished!
Don't you despond. You have no need to do so. You shall not
feel the miseries of anarchy. With my habits I could go any where,
and by my profession we cou'd obtain all the needful comforts, and
have the protection of law with all the blessings arising from orders!
So my dear I wou'd be sorry that you shou'd permit your dear self
to be unhappy. I wou'd be perhaps more kind to you if I were not to
say this much to you on this subject, but defer my remarks until we
meet. But the truth is my Love, I do not wish to think or feel any
thing that I wou'd conceal from you. You are entitled, richly entitled,
to all that I am or to all that I may possess. I thank you as the kind
146 : CHAPTER IV