The Personal Correspondence of Sam Houston, Volume 1: 1839-1845 Page: 145

                                
the other scenes of by gone existences.
My resolution is taken that if I live to embrace you again, I will
never leave you, nor cease to love you. Absence to me is torture, and
I almost fear that I love you too much. But this fear if possible only
renders you more endeared to my affections! Love, Christmas times
are on hand, but your devoted husband will not join in them. No
my dear, I am thy husband!!! As I regard thy happiness, so shall I
bear myself! I feel cheerful when I reflect upon my mastery obtain[ed]
over intemperance and that thru it I have added to your sum of
felicity. My friends too are all joy and cheerfulness. Indeed, every
patriot in Texas, I believe feels rejoiced at the change while even
malignity is render'd harmless. You my Love will appreciate my
cause of satisfaction as much as any one-or I will say as much more
as any one!
You will see by the papers that I am on tomorrow to make the
Grand Masonic invocation. On this matter I have had no reflection
nor preparation. I must do the best I can. My only dread on these
matters is that I may fail and you will be mortified. But, I know you
you [sic] cou'd account for it, or if you can't I can. I think too much
about you to think of any thing else enough. What say you to this?
Is it not correct? I say this, in half jest & earnest. Tell me what you
think on the subject?
I will cease to night as it is 12 M. and if no opportunity occurs
tomorrow, I will employ the most of the day in finishing this epistle!
It is now one o clock Christmas day, and I resume my epistolary
work.7 I was mistaken about the day and its exercises.
The 27th will be the day and in the meantime, I may have some
leisure and make some preparation, at least try and meet public expectation
whatever it may be! To day I feel sad & melancholy. My
ancle has pained me which is one cause. Last night when I retired I
thought that I wou'd enjoy a pleasant nights repose, but I was wofully
[sic] disappointed. A portion of the night I was delirious, and this
morning I arose feeble and unwell. But as I had promised to finish
to day this letter to you, I wou'd not my love forego so great a pleasure,
tho performed in much pain. I think too, that I am mending as
I progress in the completion of a task so agreeable as laying my complaints
before my dearest wife. Dont take sick because I am not as
well as I wish to be. This morning I have had many visits, notwithstanding
a notice on my door that the morning until one oclock my
145 : NOVEMBER 30, 1841-FEBRUARY 7, 1842